He wants to be with you, us.
He wants us to be his home.
Damon and Elena, 5x18 Webclip #1 - Resident Evil
What kills me is that I think this is the first time Damon has truly believed that it’s over. He’s probably replayed it over and over again in his mind, but it truly hits him when she enters his home (their home) and this time, behaves as if it isn’t her own. All summer, and even before that, the Boarding House was her home—their home. It was a place where she grew comfortable, where she healed after she burned her own house down. She left her converse sneakers in the doorway and dirty dishes in the sink. She cuddled deeper into his side as he played video games with Jeremy and filled his closet with way too many pairs of shoes.
And now, she treats the surroundings as if they’re a stranger—as if he is, too. It’s the first in she’s walked in the house like it isn’t home.
She’s so careful and cautious and trying to hard not to say the wrong thing, to slip up and say what both of them are feeling. And she’s never been that way before—they’ve never been that way. In his mind, Elena is so expressive and full of passion and they know each other like the back of their hands. They’ve always had this understanding and being together has always been as easy as breathing—it never took any thought. It didn’t matter if it was right to anyone else, because it felt right. Easy. Effortless. Thoughtless. And now he has to fight to keep a blank expression because if he doesn’t she’ll see how broken he is behind the mask he puts up. She is the good and now he can’t even recognize her—she’s foreign to him. He’s seen every side of her, and yet he can’t remember this one, can’t remember an Elena that ever walked on eggshells around him.
Elena Gilbert is not careful—Elena Gilbert is loud and vivid and rough, but never careful, not with him. Even when they first met, she constantly surprised him with how lethal she could be with her words and how boldly unafraid she was when she used them like weapons, to hurt or even manipulate. She was always bold in a way different from Katherine—brutally honest. She could hide from everyone else, pretend—but never with him.
He always saw her, and he always wanted to.
make me choose » anonymous asked belle or
You are all I ever wanted. I love you. I love every part of you.
I love you. Saying it was hard but I did and I’ve never looked back.
survivor’s guilt (n.) - a deep feeling of guilt often experienced by those who have survived some catastrophe that took the lives of many others; derives in part from a feeling that they did not do enough to save the others who perished and in part from feelings of being unworthy relative to those who died.
"Elena laughed because she wanted to cry. She never wanted to stop dancing. She wanted to tango with Damon - a real tango, the kind you were supposed to have to get married after.”